Sitting here sobbing

actual tears

over my decision to sell my old horse tack.

I’m not even that attached to it emotionally. It’s not like Rain ever wore it or even got near it. I think it’s more the idea of what it represented to me. The dream. Going to the tack store and choosing it out for that someday when I would have a use for it. And as long as I had that tack, I could always do saddle-lifting exercises and pretend there was a horse standing there to put it on. There was always that connection to the horse world.

But it’s also kind of a giant painful space-hogging reminder that I’m no longer an active part of that world and that it’ll probably be quite a while before I can be again.

I’m keeping the saddle blanket I got in New Jersey and the stupid broken halter I got at my first lesson stable though.