I am about to have no reliable internet after tonight, but I will check in when I can. If you’re following me for cosplay, figures, and fun fandom stuff, I should continue with that as far as I know. Not sure when I will be back to RP and STO. If you see me at a con or renfaire, say hi! I probably won’t get to many events, but whenever I have a ride, I will be out there!
my life has radically changed in the past year and I have been in an
ever-increasing dark place and I don’t know who I am anymore or even
where I am. I wake up not knowing which part of the country I am in or
if my legs are still attached and at some point I stopped caring.
Tomorrow I am starting a new life in a new town after spending a month
in limbo and I really need this to work out. People keep telling me that
I should have done more about my dreams and my life and my body and my
family falling apart, and I mentally scream because I know I did
everything I could. I can not deal with hearing about all the things I
should do to fix myself and other people around me. I also can’t deal with the crap and hate messages I’ve been getting on here from people who follow my ex-roommate. I can’t. All I can
do right now is pretend to have a positive attitude and try to keep
going until I can crawl back out of this hole. Really looking forward to having a nice private hermit cabin for a while, though I also know I’m going to get lonely out there.
also I bought a bb gun to turn into Owen Grady’s gun for cosplay as kind of a final hurrah despite it not being a legal thing to bring to cons
basically I am going to dress like Owen and sit outside my trailer with it I guess. Totally logical purchase yep.
Captain Koril 