I CAN NOT WAIT to get all my cosplay gear together and working and really rock the cons this summer/fall and next year with my cosplay buddy and maybe find some more Guardians to play with and have dance-offs with people (successful or not) and just generally have fun.

Every character I play is important to me in some way, helping me understand some aspect of myself or deal with some situation I can’t control. Sometimes it’s been a way to channel feelings I can’t reach any other way. But this feels different somehow. I’ve never connected with a character the way I connect to Peter Quill, and it’s made me bolder. Maybe Tumblr is not the place to share such revelations but I’ve got to write it somewhere. I just genuinely feel like I’m home in this outfit and this mindspace. This “yeah, I’ve seen some shit, I’ve survived some stuff that maybe shouldn’t have happened, and things can overall suck, but I’m still optimistic and I still can look at the universe with some wonder and I’m still gonna dance and laugh and smile, because otherwise how is life even worth the pain?” I can’t afford to lose that part of myself. I may be skeptical and a little bitter, but I can’t close myself off and turn into a hermit. I’d never survive.

There are things about me I’m starting to come to terms with, and I’m feeling bolder. Less afraid. I don’t know where this is going, or if it’s gonna last, but I’m sure enjoying the ride.