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@brittandbiscuits

^^ thank you. I needed to hear this. I also sort of didn’t realize I actually posted that last night in an apparent fit of frustration. (I write a lot of stuff that never makes it to “post”). Oops.

But…yeah. You’re right. I know a lot of people younger than me who got married years ago and are already in the middle of messy divorces, with children involved, and it’s very sad. I know that if I’d gotten married when they did, or even three years ago, I would be miserable.

The funny thing is, I’ve never really…pursued dating? When it happened, it just happened. I always brushed off the “so when are you going to get yourself a husband?” questions like they were so much sofa lint. I assumed I’d grow up, get married, etc, because that was part of the Plan For My Life, but it was never a strong desire. “I’ll take one career please, oh and I guess a side order of spouse”.

Now, I feel like…I really wish I could find a life partner. Which feels really selfish to me, since financially and physically, I’m in a bad place and not likely to get any better. But darnit, I want what I want.

@virescent-phosphor your radar is just fine, lol.

Apparently I need my own  readjusted because I seem to be the most surprised of anyone. It’s amazing what one weekend at comic-con and one brain montage of Little Life Moments can do to undo decades of self-delusion. Finally realizing I wasn’t a fail at being human was amazing. And also that a lot of my choices in life sort of stemmed from being uncomfortable with being shoehorned into a gender role and orientation that didn’t fit. Oh yeah, I’m gf too.

As for LDR, yeah I have done that a few times. The longest one lasted years and it was epic…until we spent a lot of time together in real life and I realized we weren’t really a great match.