Tag: sparkthoughts

YEP. It does help to have someone else there.
There really are about 4 or 5 things I live off and I tend to forget that the store sells things on the top shelves and therefore there are actually other options. I tend to zoom through the store and grab what I always grab and get the hell outta (literal, in the case of some people’s shopping cart driving skills) Dodge.

Except, when I can’t find That One Brand I Always Buy, I stand there frozen in a Not Found error until someone reminds me that I can actually choose one of the other 10 differently packaged versions of the same thing.

when my emotions are all haywire

like today, I am devastated emotionally

so my logical reaction is to laugh hysterically at horrible things on tv and remember random shit like “the time I bought ice cream in my VERY SMALL SOUTHERN town and accidentally flirted hard at the cashier lady”. Eventually, my emotions WILL catch up and I’ll just sob uncontrollably at something random, like a car tire advertisement or someone asking me if I want a snack. That could be months from now.

When I am confined to the house for 3 weeks, I go crazy, and when released, I go into a grocery shopping frenzy.

things I bought:
peppermint tea (I don’t drink tea wtf) and a jar of strawberries (???????), a brand of taco sauce that I never buy, four kinds of frozen meat instead of just one or two, ketchup INSTEAD of mayo, way too much toilet paper (MY BATHROOM IS FULL OF TOILET PAPER and it’s an airplane lavatory-sized bathroom SEND HELP), and light? sour? cream? I don’t really eat sour cream, let alone LIGHT?

but thankfully most of the rest of the stuff was normal. I did pick up some fancy stuff for making Italian food with because I’ve been watching The Godfather and if that doesn’t make you want Italian food (and oranges) nothing will.

OH MY GOSH
I JUST BOUGHT A MOUSE FOR MY LAPTOP *because I finally have a lap desk thingy that will accommodate it

I HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO EXIST WITH A MOUSE.
I wonder what it will be like to do gaming not on a touchpad for once.

I hadn’t even seen him for several years and I just
I guess I always had some crazy idea that I would be able to save up enough money to go back with a trailer and he’d be standing there with his head over the stall door waiting for me to bring him home
as long as he was out there somewhere, it was like
there was hope
I could get him out maybe
away from there where he was so unhappy
give him a life as a horse and not a carousel pony
give him all the scritches that he begged me for always
and now
I don’t know
he wasn’t very old
I don’t even know what happened
I didn’t really even get to say goodbye before I was pulled away that last time I saw him
he whinnied for me
he always did
even the first time I met him he begged me to pet him
I just
fuck everything
I’m empty