Tag: WTF

Dear dude at the store last night,
I’m very sorry that you were injured when you bumped your leg on my wheelchair. When it was standing still. And you looked right at me and walked into me. Your mumbled response should have been enough to clue me in that you were actual royalty and I should have thrown myself out of my assistive device at your poor, mangled feet, and kissed them and begged forgiveness for existing in this store, which is clearly for Able Bodies Only. I do hope that you don’t have horrific, trauma-induced nightmares about me. I am very threatening, I agree, especially to someone such as yourself. All 5 feet of me could have, at any moment, mutated into a thousand tiny wheelchairs for you to bump your legs on! The horror! 

Please accept my deepest condolences on the loss of your dignity when you yelled “DID YOU SEE THAT? SHE HIT ME AND TOOK OFF!” as you walked away. I mean, I’m sure you do that to every single other person you purposefully walk into in public, so it’s probably no big deal. 

I had the WILDEST dream last night.

I was at this house that my dad supposedly bought, only he was also building a room for me (ha RIGHT). Anyway, he was upset because he was going to put a heater in my room, but he wanted to use the heater that was in this crap converted garage/den thing, except he realized it would cost him the same money to take time off work and move it as it would to buy a new heater. So he was like…fuck this, you just won’t have a heater in there. Except apparently the room he was building was actually a salvaged freezer from somewhere so it KINDA NEEDED A HEATER. I offered to move the heater myself and save him the money, and he was like “nahh, you’ll just hurt yourself or do it wrong” and I remember being so flabbergasted that he was basically not letting me have a heater because money AND him being an ass. BUT IT WAS SO IN CHARACTER THOUGH. Anyway

THEN I walked around and the front room of this shithole house he bought was a barn. An actual barn. Full of animals. Which makes 0 sense, he would not have bought that, he’s loaded (which I never knew growing up because he kinda kept that under wraps…and his new wife is loaded too so dude I have rich relatives now LOL weird). I walked up to this kitten who started talking about the old owners, but I realized it was talking about the owners from way back in the 50s-60s, and said that Cave Johnson used to live there, but his eldest daughter died so he moved out. I didn’t know that Cave Johnson had a daughter OR a talking reincarnating cat, but ok I can accept this because dream and because Aperture.

Then my dad, stepmom, and I all got in my dad’s car and drove way too fast through the neighborhood. The houses were all super crazy eccentric, like some were castles. The people were all characters from movies and TV shows, a lot were animated characters (but they weren’t animated, they were just sort of like…Disneyland-style costumed people). We drove to a mall with a giant pink ice skating rink and sat down at this awesome 50s-style soda fountain.

Also I remember someone sending me a…revealing…Harley Quinn costume at some point in the dream, and I put it on and did my makeup. Which is a character I have? Never? Considered? Cosplaying? But okay dream me…??? I’m kinda tempted now…though not necessarily that particular design. (HA these small town good ol’ cons I’ve been going to would be scandalized)

I dunno. I have been really enjoying playing these unbalanced antagonists. Then again, there will be FIFTEEN THOUSAND MORE HARLEYS flooding the cons with the film coming out. Not that this stopped me from rocking Loki.

That’s twice now I’ve received a comment that I look like Jeff Bridges.

Out of nowhere.

Both times coming from people who aren’t really aware of my Clu obsession.

I’m not sure whether to be amused or creeped out, so I’m going with both.